Parenting doesn’t end when our children grow up—it simply evolves (or maybe not so simply). As parents of adult children, we often find ourselves navigating new territory filled with unexpected challenges and emotional complexities.
Perhaps your adult child is making choices you struggle to understand, or you feel disconnected from them despite your best efforts. Maybe you’re grappling with the delicate balance of setting boundaries while offering support. It can truly be a tricky balance.
If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. Many parents in this phase of life feel overwhelmed, stressed, and even heartbroken. This stress can seep into other areas of our lives, affecting our health, relationships, and overall happiness. But what if there was a way to find clarity, peace, and even joy in this journey? And when we hear the common cliche that it’s about the journey, not the destination . . . there us truth in those words.
We never reach a destination in relationships since they continue to change, grow, and evolve individually and differently than any other relationship. This is especially true if you have multiple children. How could they have all been raised in the same home, or by the same parents, but become such widely different adults in almost every way? It is a conundrum for sure!
This is the heart of my book, Peacefully Parenting Adult Children. It’s more than a guide—it’s a compassionate companion for those seeking healthier communication, stronger boundaries, and deeper connections with their adult children. Through relatable stories, practical advice, and actionable steps, I offer tools to help you reclaim your sense of peace and purpose in this evolving phase of life. Coming to each young adult or more mature adult son or daughter from a position of curiosity and acknowledging they are adults, makes a big difference.
Today we will address the beginning phase of the transition by looking at those moments when adult children (late teens through their 30’s) move out physically. It also touches on the transition when they move on emotionally from us which can be even more difficult.
Facing the Empty Nest
For many parents, the transition to an empty nest marks the beginning of a new chapter — a chapter filled with mixed emotions. While there may be pride and excitement for your adult child’s independence, it’s not uncommon to feel a loss of purpose. Adjusting to this new rhythm to your life and family can be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to rediscover yourself.
In these moments, it’s important to remember that healing and separation take time and often start with small steps. When we see them becoming independent adults, isn’t this what we devoted ourselves to from their infancy? Didn’t we want them to find independence, purpose, and fulfillment? It’s happening, but not always the way we might have projected or been prepared for emotionally.
I want to share one small, but significant, change. It is shifting our words and thoughts when thinking or speaking about our adult son or daughter. Do you refer to them with any type of nickname that stuck to them when they were small children (like baby), or your own pet name for them, or referring to them as your kids or children?
It doesn’t matter where they fall in the birth order. They may be the baby of the family, but continuing to call them baby holds them in a space that might cause them to feel trapped (labeled) and don’t know how to break free and grow into a mature adult.
One way I shifted was to NOT refer to them as my kids or my children. They are not children anymore. Anything over 18 they are technically adult regardless of the other circumstances. Try calling them your son or daughter instead of child or kid or simply refer to them by their given name. Can you sense the difference in this change?
Let’s now look at this time when we move out of parenting more intensely to a place that allows you to make choices for yourself. You are not neglecting anyone by choosing your own interests or desires because they don’t need your daily input or guidance. That now leaves a void.
What hobbies, dreams, or passions have you put on hold or never pursued? This phase can be a time of personal growth and exploration, allowing you to thrive as an individual while maintaining a healthy connection with your adult son or daughter, their significant other, and maybe even becoming grandparents.
Exploring some of these hobbies or passions together with your adult son or daughter can be a fun way to build memories or choose something to explore with your spouse or significant other. You will now have something new and interesting to talk about instead of simply asking them about what is happening in their life. It’s becoming independent from them to some degree, although once you are a parent, you are a parent for life.
To support you even further, I’ve created a simple yet powerful Stress Assessment for Parents of Adult Children. This assessment is designed to:
Help you identify specific areas of stress in your relationship with your adult child.
Highlight patterns or triggers that may be keeping you stuck.
Provide insight into how stress may be impacting your well-being.
Taking this assessment can be the first step toward meaningful change. It’s an opportunity to pause, reflect, and create a roadmap for a more peaceful and fulfilling relationship.
Personalized Support for Your Journey
Once you’ve completed the assessment, I offer personalized 1:1 consultations to help you unpack your results and develop a tailored approach to navigate your unique challenges. These sessions are a safe space to explore solutions, gain clarity, and feel supported by someone who truly understands.
Parenting adult children can be one of the most rewarding yet demanding roles you will ever undertake. But it doesn’t have to be a source of constant stress. With the right tools and guidance, you can foster healthier relationships and rediscover the joy of parenting—even in this new season.
Take the First Step Today
Click [here] to take the Stress Assessment for Parents of Adult Children.
Explore Peacefully Parenting Adult Children to dive deeper into strategies and insights that will transform your relationship.
Remember, it’s never too late to change the story — for you and your family. Let’s walk this journey together. Having a companion on a similar journey can be comforting and a source of strength through the inevitable turmoil that happens.
My wish is always for you to . . .
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